“I want you sore, baby… Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I’ve been here. Only me. You are mine.”
― Christian Grey
There is this constant want in some of us women that we are looking for our very own Christian Grey. But what is it exactly about him that we want? Let’s break it down.
HIS POWER-
You see, women are not attracted to men just because of their money.
Women are attracted to men with power. It just so happens that men with power usually have wealth as a result.
Power is about the ability to influence yourself and those around you. When you go out with friends, do you take the lead? Or do you wait for someone else?
A man who demonstrates power over himself by controlling his actions, thoughts and emotions is extremely attractive. Time and time again, Christian’s little “sex slave,” Anastasia, challenges and tests him by pushing him away and questioning his behavior. Not once does the billionaire raise his voice in anger or resentment.
HIS INTENSITY
Watch the movie and pay close attention to Mr. Grey’s impeccable eye contact. You’ll notice many scenes in which the character doesn’t even blink. By holding and maintaining strong eye contact, Christian displays confidence and control of the situation.
His eye contact also creates intense sexual tension between him and Ms. Steele.
HE TAKES CONTROL-
He makes her feel safe and secure—not just because he’s got tons of money, but because he always knows what to do. He knows how to handle himself in any situation and takes the lead.
He doesn’t ask, “Where do you want to go on our date?” Instead, he controls every moment of the situation and brings her into his world.
HE IS POSSESSIVE OF HER-
“Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I’ve been here. Only me. You are mine.”
Women want to be claimed. A woman wants a man who declares her as his. It makes her feel safe and protected and gives her a sense that he truly cares for her.
Every woman on the planet wants a man who will fight for her, and I’m not referring to fighting in the literal, physical sense. I mean a woman wants a man who cares enough for her that he won’t leave her when times get tough or when she is on an emotional rant. Always make a woman feel safe. Safety is a woman’s number one concern. Make her feel like she is yours—only yours.
HE IS VULNERABLE
“I’m fifty shades of fucked up.” —Christian Grey
We are all human and therefore we are all flawed to some degree. For many guys, their biggest mistake is trying to be super smooth and perfect.
Christian doesn’t pretend to be perfect. He shows his human side when he confesses some of his dark secrets.
A great way to connect is to share something intimate or personal. When Christian shares his vulnerable side, it makes Ana feel like she can really trust him and allows her to open up and share things about herself, thus building a deep emotional connection.
HE CARES ABOUT HER INTERESTS
A person’s favorite subject is themselves. Even if you are the most interesting man in the world, if you go on and on about yourself the woman will lose interest fast.
Christian shows that he cares about Ana’s interests. He even finds out what English major she is studying in school and sends her a first-edition book by one of her favorite authors.
HE IS A MASTER OF SEDUCTION-
Believe it or not, a woman wants to be seduced.
Contrary to popular belief, she doesn’t want a man who plays it safe, pretends to be her friend, and then later tries to swoop in under the radar.
Christian begins seducing her from the moment he meets her with his powerful eye contact, use of sexual innuendos, and slow, deep vocal tonality. It is clear from the beginning that their relationship will not be a platonic friendship.
We want to be desired.
I don’t know any woman, any human, who doesn’t want to feel validated. And most of us want to feel attractive. Beautiful. We want to be wanted.
Wanted to the point of distraction? Wow…
We feel powerful.
Being desired feels powerful. We enjoy the status of having an attractive sexual partner. Christian Grey is rich, powerful, and physically attractive
We want to be spoiled. Without her asking because she won’t, do things that make your woman feel like you’d give her the world.
The Process of Healing 